Mood : Sweaty (Fk this heat !)

Listening to : F.O.B - Beat It

Reading : Are You Afraid Of The Dark - Sidney Sheldon :D

Watching : The Big Bang Theory

Playing : L4D2

Eating : Pineapple Ice-Cream

Enjoying : -

Wearing : Pajamas and a shirt.. I'd say it's enough :P

Downloading : The Big Bang Theory S3

We start off today's post with some lulz -

http://failbook.com/2010/07/09/funny-facebook-fails-rather-robust-puppy/

Clickz it :D

Anyway

There are a couple of things we must discuss.. or at least.. I must.. You read like a good boy =D

1) Birthday & Birthday Wishes :

My birthday was a lot of fun :D Bowling at EOD, Luner(Lunch & Dinner xD) at Spoonz and then some Air Hockey and some more LOl-filled stuff that we do ! Bharat got me the book which I'm reading right now and me n Prateek are gonna go buy a tie later on.. But first, we will perform our Mentos-Coke bomb on Monday :D As I said earlier, no birthday is complete without one !! We had tried performing one last year but it was full of failz =P So we're gonna try again this year !

Coming to Birthday wishes (the boring part =P ) , it's such an amazing thing how by even reading a simple birthday wish, one can figure out the nature of the relationship one has had with the person and how much he intends to work on it or maintain it. Point is, you find out how true your friends are by the manner in which they wish you and WHEN they wish you ! Yes, this arrow is pointing towards Bhattach who wished me 3 hours later =P And don't ask me to choose whose message was the best ! They were all perfect :)

Back to the point, I want to illustrate on this with a simple example -

(withholding all names of course)

A girl, who used to be in my school bus for 7 years and was a mutual friend amongst many of my friends back in school, wrote a simple "happy birthday.." . Now this clearly shows how much lack of communication there has been over the past couple of years and that we're only acquaintances due to the lack of emotion or ... even appeal in that message :)

Another example -

A guy, who was my classmate in 11th & 12th and again, a mutual friend amongst many of my friends back in school.. This guy is supremely lazy :P It's a fact. He rarely comes online. Yet still, on my birthday, he came online and wished me happy birthday. Now the message here isn't important. What's more important is the situation. Just to show that he gives a rat's ass :)

Further example -

A woman, almost my mother's age, who I've been constantly in touch with, wrote a very special message and sent it to me. Now this clearly shows how much of a bonding one has with the other person and how much they care for the birthday boy. She's a good-natured woman and I've helped her many times and she's helped me too. That's why this.. care can be easily felt through that message :)

What I'm trying to say is that you DON'T get to know who your true friends are on your birthday.. What I'm saying is that one can easily gain knowledge and understanding from the person's point of view when he/she/Nayyar wrote that and what he/she/Nayyar meant to convey too as a part of the relationship that we share !

oK enough bakwaas =D

Moving onto some of muah personal schtuff -

2) I Love Maths :

And I shall be subjected to more torture(thanks to DAD !) from tomorrow. Apparently, my prep for CAT-MAT starts from tomorrow at 10AM to 12PM on weekends... Yee.. Thank Career Launcher for fucking up my weekends :D

BLEH ! Soo.. yeah, 10 to 12. Saturday and Sunday. It's in Sec. 18 only opposite Mc Donalds, so I'm saved ! Just a 5 min. walk from 28 :) It will be da funz. At least I won't sit around idle anymore ! Possibly a good idea to... (Gets lost staring at Megan Fox =D) Ahahemm..

YES !

Good..

Err.

Yeah.

Soo.. uhmm.. more of that shall be informed to all 3 of you personally. Just remember to ask =D Or if it was good, I might tell you myself !

Other than that, there's nothing else going on. I occasionally go for walks or troll people on the internet =D

(Trolling = Intentionally fooling people and getting LOLs from it !) Or I play Transformice ! Fun game :D You're a mouse. You collect cheese. You have to get back to the hole.

The rest of it is long and complicated =D

Anyway, moving on..

3) Peoplez :

Some I don't like but still have to put up with :D I know.. I should be rewarded for putting up with SOME PEOPLE !!! :P (not hinting at anybody !!) ... (maybe) ( =P ) Anyway, I was handling 7 people at the same time yesterday for 40 mins. All perfect conversations =D I know. I'm Awesome ! And then I fell asleep as soon as I hit the bed :P

Anyway.. I might be meeting up with Prateek and another friend. Yes, a girl. Prateek hates her. I hate her. Yet we still have to go ! Soo.. there's that.

And then my latest crush =D

Kanika Mehra.

She's super hot.

Super cute.

Not... super smart :P

And super committed !! =|

*Sigh*

Koi nahin.. I'll wait till the door is open !

Khair.. Nothing much else I suppose.

I shall leave you with this -

Isn't she delightfully SEXY ?! =D

Ahhem.

Anyway

Shoo

GO TO A TEMPLE !
Be religious !

And... kind !

Donate blood !

Use the money to buy candy =D

Ahhem

BYE !!

Mood : Lonely

Listening to : -

Reading : -

Watching : Castle

Playing : Dead Frontier

Drinking : -

Enjoying : -

Wearing : Pajamas and a shirt.. I'd say it's enough :P

Downloading : Castle S2

Hi.

I'd been feeling a lil lonely for the past few days and since you (the blog) are the only friend who can listen to all my bakwaas, here it goes :P

All good and bad things aside, I miss a lot of aspects of my life where I was care-free and happy. Happy, the truly inner-feeling happy not the crappy made-up happy. I loved life. Everything was so great.

Why is it that age, responsibilities and trust becomes such a big issue...? Legally an adult but mentally still a child...? Is there anything in the law books for THAT ??

Yeahh.. I miss those days. Now, this may imply that I miss my ex.. But no, I DO NOT MISS MY EX. (It was bold so that.. just so we're clear =P ). I can't stand looking at her -__- Anyway, it's just that those days were filled with so much fun and excitement and hope and.... joy. Pure childish joy. It seems like such a.. disturbing thought now that I wanna go back in time and wish it all.. happened for the good. That.. everything could be perfect and after tweaking a few things here n there, who knows my life would have been now...?

Yes, we come down to the same old relationship issues. *Sigh*

I can't help it.

I just get lonely too easily.

And to be honest, the last week has been horrible. I have NOT ENJOYED GAMING. Things are that bad. Seriously ! Whenever I play, I just.. can't seem to keep my mind focused on enjoying and having fun. That, obviously, affects how I play and I usually get flamed (made fun of) by other people there. And it sucks. I even got a warning for shouting too loudly :P But all stuff aside, I know that even if I DO get into a relationship now, I know for sure it's gonna be a huge fail. Mostly because of the fact that I'm stupid ! I've realized that, end of the day, it's *I* who I look after, whose needs I consider more. The topic of "handling another person's life" and "taking responsibility of their actions" is a lil too.. too much to ask for. I mean, I'm not complaining of the fact that I wouldn't take care of her or look after her.. Sure, I would ! I always do that =) But I know me. I.. am not stable enough to handle 2 people.. Of which the other would be either the complete opposite or exactly like me. Either way, too much trouble to handle at this age. I think teenage relationships bring out our character in hidden, untold ways. For someone who can manage a relationship, study and have everything perfect in his/her life, clearly shows how rational headed and can perfectly distribute his/her time and prioritize their life. (I know.. Grammar Fail.) My point being, these people are different and are over-achievers with or without them realizing it. When they grow up, their.. their actions won't be affected by stress, problems, etc. Their judgment and ability to decide would still be perfect because that's how they were as a kid and they're used to it. Kudos to em I'd say.

I can't even manage my own life -___-

*Sigh*

So that's how I'm stuck in this... this wheel of.. love and death. Where I want to be in a relationship yet know that it's not gonna be anywhere near perfect. Hence, death within. And this wheel keeps rotating.. I keep having different.. desires, different needs and wants everyday. Whether love or death, this implies with a lot of things in life. For example, one's mood may also affect as to what they want to eat or drink. A normal person would have his normal breakfast or a good breakfast so that they stay in a good mood from the starting of the day. However, any other person would just make a do-able breakfast and move on with his/her life. Similarly, one's happy they usually party and drink and have a blast in a group. You see a person drinking alone, you know they're sad or that there's something wrong.

So you see, the way we behave in society and even the way we eat, tells a lot about us.

Coming back to selfish lil me..

As I was saying, I've been going to Bunker but I've lost this.. this feeling of happiness and joy when I win a match. It's just..gone. There's no "inner-happiness". It's just... Yeeee.. And.. done. The fact that I've been rejected 13 times is a wonder (and also an unlucky number...! )(coincidence..?) and it shows or.. tells a lot about me.

Suppose a random person is walking down the street and I tell him/her that I've failed 13 times in love.. What will they think..?

1) Stubborn fool.

2) Now THAT is called desperate.

3) Wonder why.. Probably something is wrong with him.

4) Maybe he's just unlucky.

5) He needs to change and focus elsewhere.

And honestly, all 5 of em are right.

Does this also mean that I suck at socializing..?

They're not related but it's worth a thought.

I guess the main point of all this is that I'm clearly not a synced functioning unit and my priorities and desires are fickle and slightly.. rational. I tend to believe in stuff happening which is wrong because you have to DO something to make stuff happen.

Obviously that doesn't imply for love but.. for other things, it does.

These things always remind me of my old days... When I was still a kid and used to have so much fun with my brother..

I love him like hell and he knows it. He's helped out on me a lot more than anybody else ever has. He knew when I was feeling low and he's helped me every step of the way.

It's just that I can't bear the fact that he's moved on now with his life.. I wonder if he had any thoughts like these.. If he just sat down and wondered what he was doing with his life..

Me.. I always do.

But the problem is, nothing useful ever came out. It's like this whole... jungle of crap that I'm stuck in and the only way out is to learn to live in the jungle.

*Sigh*

You know, I've spent all of today (Sunday) doing NOTHING.

I slept, ate, peed and watched Castle.

NOTHING.

I don't feel like doing anything at all.

But you know.. There are just some days when you have to pull up your pants and grow up. Life is hard, face it. You have to be strong and deal with it.. It's a new challenge everyday and you have to go through it.

So as far as relationships go, I have this.. epic thought that I should postpone it. You know.. Screw women (I mean.. Not Literally !!) and.. get on with life. As I said earlier, you sometimes have to put aside things and let things happen. In this case, let love..happen ! Besides, skip the not-able-to-handle-part, I'm not good enough to.. get the women I've been trying..

Soo.. it's better to accept defeat and move on.

*Looks at Nails*

Hmm.. need to cut em.

Anyway, I'll try to keep this a daily thing now because I don't do anything else useful right now.

I got driving lessons in the morning (7:30 =| ) Soo.. I'll update about em tom.

I'm also getting a new camera. Most probably a Nikon D3000. (yes, 3 zeros !)

It's great.. Link is here --> CLICK MEH !

Soo.. check it out if you want to.

Cyaa =)

LOL

LOL =P

Vloggies !! =D

A series of vlogs I made today.. Dunno.. was bored =P

Enjoy ! :D

P.S - Might need to increase yr volume slightly to "comprehend" what I'm saying !

And ignore the stupid jokes =P

Mood : Excited !!
Listening to : KatdeLuna Ft. Elephant Man - Whine Up
Working : Pfft ! MY ARSE ! :P
Reading : Daniel Silva - Prince of Fire (STILL haven't finished the book !)

Watching : Sxephil :D
Playing : L4D2
Drinking : Pineapple juice !
Enjoying : Awesomeness..!
Wearing : Pajamas and a shirt.. I'd say it's enough :P

Downloading : 30 Rock S5

(this is the morning update...)

Probably the one thing that's on the tip of my tongue right now...!

I had a very long and very amazing conversation with Sadhvi last night..! And.. I'm just.. super-happy !! We discussed just about everything and.. I cleared out a lot of things from my past.. And.. it just feels soo good now :) Well, let's not count ze chickens before they hatch..!! Or .. wait.. it was count the.. chicks.. before they hatch..? o_O

Chicks..

Definitely chicks...

;)

WAIT
I MEAN

The .. animals..!

Or..

Birds..?

Young birds..!

BLEH !

:P

ANYWAY
Moving on to other things..

I guess I'm really happy after last night and.. of course, since we were up till 2:40 or somethin.. I barely slept..! But, since I are aalsi.. :P I slept at around 3 and woke up at 10:30..! Mum's like.. Beta AB toh sonna band karo..! I'm like... MMmmmm... mHMmmmm..... *ZZZZZZ* Mum: AVII !!!!! My God, she almost scared me !! :D But yeah, thank her at least I managed to wake up without getting late..! :P

You know.. I love these timings.. Wakin' up late.. just.. lazing around before college :P It won't be so after this week =( Coz.. once this week ends, I have to MOVE MY ARSE and go do things..! Writing out the projects.. studying for the 2nd lab practical.. drinking more juice... :P But the POINT is..! I'll be really busy again :( Soo.. I've been wondering if it'd be wiser to get rid of all the writing stuff NOW so that I'm not half as busy as I will be.. I.e, I can concentrate on my studies more..! Besides with Stats and C and FM, I'll be screwed if I don't keep practicing !! (Wow, I kept writing practicing with as "practising" .. Hmm.. it'd probably be write in SOME language :P )

I mean

RIGHT !

xD

Geddiit..??

No..

Of course u don't !
Useless sense of humor !! :P

Moving on to some sad things..

Bhattach has been having problems with her Dad.. Well, a LOT of problems.. But.. I'm glad that at least her hand is oK now.. Though they still need bout 2 months more to heal fully.. But.. The major part of the surgery is done and.. she's going to be better :) I just hope she can keep herself as optimistic as she can during these times.. Coz I Seriously fall short of advice when it comes to all this.. Mainly coz I can never imagine how hard it'd be to be doing a lot of things independently instead of depending on yr parents for it.. I mean, I'm no Mama's boy or somethin..! :P But.. just that they do a few things which, I've seen by now, a lot of other parents won't. So even though I keep saying to myself that they're this and that, I should be thankful that they're there for me when I need em :)

Let's see.. what else..

My dear bhai is busy with his final exams.. Soo.. he doesn't come online AT ALL..! =( Miss him a lot these days.. Frick, I haven't spoken to him in 1 week ! I are missing him !! =(

LOl, kal mazaa aaya.. Wait, I'll get it from the archives

Aavis (3/17/2010 9:07:36 PM): :D

Shyamolie (3/17/2010 9:07:39 PM): lolz =D

Aavis (3/17/2010 9:07:44 PM): "lolz" ?!

Aavis (3/17/2010 9:07:46 PM): OMG

Aavis (3/17/2010 9:07:50 PM): U have sinned !

xD

Anyway

I'm just... happy with life right now.. It's all good :)

Aah, frick it's almost 12

Oh well.. time for my twice a we.. I mean.. DAY.. Twice a DAY !!!
Yes..

I waste water :P

No I don't !!

Heyy, shaat aap !!

MAKE ME !!

....

Ahhem

xD

POINT IS !!

I have to leave !

And.. do... stuff

And stuff

And EAT !! :D

Cyaa !!!! ^^

Mood : Bored
Listening to : Rob Thomas - Her Diamonds
Working : Pfft ! MY ARSE !
Reading : Daniel Silva - Prince of Fire

Watching : Equals Three !! RWJ
Playing : Resident Evil 5
Eating : Orange !
Enjoying : I'm bored..! Ghanta enjoy ! :P
Wearing : IDK.. You seriously care ?!

Downloading : COD4

Yeahh well I'm BORED !!
I am

B
O
R
E
D
!!!!

B

O

R

E

D

!!!!!!

:D

Ahhem

Point being

I'm BORED.

I just gave an IQ test at this site - http://www.iqtest.com/index.html

And I got 121 !!

SUCK !
I lost 12 points off my score =\

Coz the last time I checked I had an IQ of 133

Anyway, go give yr own and don't be embarrassed at yr score !

TELL MEH !!
:D

My exams are over now.

Mid-sems

Sem 2.

And as usual, didn't do anything today..

Nothing much.

Still ignoring Sadhvi

Still burning the bridges that should have never been built

Still re-building bridges that got burnt

Still... being AWESOME

:D

Do check out some RALness if u missed it.

I don't have a lotta pictures to upload these days.

Mainly coz my arse is usually in front of the PC half the time.

Besides, WHERE do I go out alone ??

There's no point.

So that's why.

*YAAAAAWWWWWNNN*

Now that my exams are over, I have to work on meh stupid assignments and projects.

Yes

"ME"

"I"

"WORK"

Baaki useless people ghanta karte hain =\

*Sigh*

Hmmm.. really have nothing else to update with

Boring day

Boring meh !

Cyaa !! =)

The -ve Epic

Mood : Disgusted, Annoyed, Frustrated, Pissed Off.. to name a few
Listening to : -
Working : Exams.. Marketing tom.
Reading : Daniel Silva - Prince of Fire

Watching : -
Playing : Silent Hill: Homecoming
Drinking : -
Enjoying : -
Wearing : IDK.. You seriously care ?
Downloading : -

So let me start of by saying that although I'm in a very pissed off and frustrated mood, I'm still in my senses and I know what I'm typing..

I Thank God that everybody has stopped reading this so I can peacefully update with life's frustrations and happy times.. More of the former these days..

Today, I would like to talk about Sadhvi and my epic moron-ness.

So let's begin:

It all started with a random compliment in FarmVille and we kept talking, talking and talking. Eventually, I realized how, down to the last detail, she's so perfect for meh. I mean, she has everything. The beauty, the brains, the understanding, the trust, the room for my epic bakwaas.. I mean, after Moolie, she's probably the only person who can understand me fully..!! The main reason behind all this, as far as I know, is that we're both Cancerians and we both connect on many things. We have a zillion common things, fantasies, habits, eating/drinking styles.. literally anything u canimagine..!! And it was all common :) I thought to myself, "This is such an EPIC opportunity. God doesn't send girls like her AT ALL !! I MUST grab her !" And you know....... That's where everything started going all wrong. If you didn't already know this about me, whenever I meet a woman (only applies meeting her in-person), I know what kind of relationship I want with her.. Whether it be friendship, ignore, acquaintance or TRY to commit myself to her. So this time, when I had seen her a gazillion times in school, seen her dance, perform, chatting, laughing (stalk much..? xD ) .. deep-down, I knew if I ever had the chance, I would wanna be in a relationship with her... I just.. thought of it. But u know what happened then...? I came back down to Earth. I realized a girl like Sadhvi could NEVER and I mean NEVERRR go out with me. She's... "out of my league". She's too good for me. I swear to God if I had remembered that 2 weeks ago, I wouldn't be sitting here in pain, crying my eyes out typing this.. The tears are of frustration and disappointment rather than of ... loss or pain. Coz I realized 2 weeks ago that there could never be any chance I could ever go out with her or make her look at me as her boyfriend. I mean seriously, who da frick am I kidding ?? Probably one of the best looking girls of this year's 12th batch go out with a geek like me...? Really ? Soo.. that's why. That's why I'm afraid to tell her how MUCH I love her.. :) I mean.. not the twisted sexual love..! The "I want you by my side" love.. The sweet love :) *Sigh* I've realized one thing about me as well -

I can be easily manipulated emotionally.

It sucks balls !! Sadhvi isn't the first girl this has happened with.. I mean sure, with reference to my shady past, this has happened with a dozen women as well.. But the only difference is that I feel something with Sadhvi that didn't happen anywhere else. That instant feeling of bonding and trust and understanding....

I guess this also shows how... extremely desperate I am to enter into a relationship with .. bloody any girl I find who is good-looking enough and has brains (and a sense of humor !).. =(

*Sigh*

Five things I AM looking forward to this year are-

1) FINALLY meeting Moolie :)

2) FINALLY meeting Bhattach :) (if her plans go allrite with her Dad though.. let's see..)

3) Possibly a new hatchback for meh !!! :D Still haven't decided which though..

4) Going back to Chandigarh and enjoying the relaxing lifestyle :)

5) Possibly going to a company for some summer training.. This one will be off the hook, i.e, not the legal one which we're supposed to do. That I have to do in Sem 4.. But, we'll see if it's possible.

I'm hoping that I get at least 3 of these.

They are in order of preference..

Anyway, I'm off to some more studying/revising for the 2 easy exams left :)

Probably head over to my second home, i.e, Bunker, with Bharat for a few days and then.... IDK...

Loneliness =|

CYAA ! :)