The -ve Epic

Mood : Disgusted, Annoyed, Frustrated, Pissed Off.. to name a few
Listening to : -
Working : Exams.. Marketing tom.
Reading : Daniel Silva - Prince of Fire

Watching : -
Playing : Silent Hill: Homecoming
Drinking : -
Enjoying : -
Wearing : IDK.. You seriously care ?
Downloading : -

So let me start of by saying that although I'm in a very pissed off and frustrated mood, I'm still in my senses and I know what I'm typing..

I Thank God that everybody has stopped reading this so I can peacefully update with life's frustrations and happy times.. More of the former these days..

Today, I would like to talk about Sadhvi and my epic moron-ness.

So let's begin:

It all started with a random compliment in FarmVille and we kept talking, talking and talking. Eventually, I realized how, down to the last detail, she's so perfect for meh. I mean, she has everything. The beauty, the brains, the understanding, the trust, the room for my epic bakwaas.. I mean, after Moolie, she's probably the only person who can understand me fully..!! The main reason behind all this, as far as I know, is that we're both Cancerians and we both connect on many things. We have a zillion common things, fantasies, habits, eating/drinking styles.. literally anything u canimagine..!! And it was all common :) I thought to myself, "This is such an EPIC opportunity. God doesn't send girls like her AT ALL !! I MUST grab her !" And you know....... That's where everything started going all wrong. If you didn't already know this about me, whenever I meet a woman (only applies meeting her in-person), I know what kind of relationship I want with her.. Whether it be friendship, ignore, acquaintance or TRY to commit myself to her. So this time, when I had seen her a gazillion times in school, seen her dance, perform, chatting, laughing (stalk much..? xD ) .. deep-down, I knew if I ever had the chance, I would wanna be in a relationship with her... I just.. thought of it. But u know what happened then...? I came back down to Earth. I realized a girl like Sadhvi could NEVER and I mean NEVERRR go out with me. She's... "out of my league". She's too good for me. I swear to God if I had remembered that 2 weeks ago, I wouldn't be sitting here in pain, crying my eyes out typing this.. The tears are of frustration and disappointment rather than of ... loss or pain. Coz I realized 2 weeks ago that there could never be any chance I could ever go out with her or make her look at me as her boyfriend. I mean seriously, who da frick am I kidding ?? Probably one of the best looking girls of this year's 12th batch go out with a geek like me...? Really ? Soo.. that's why. That's why I'm afraid to tell her how MUCH I love her.. :) I mean.. not the twisted sexual love..! The "I want you by my side" love.. The sweet love :) *Sigh* I've realized one thing about me as well -

I can be easily manipulated emotionally.

It sucks balls !! Sadhvi isn't the first girl this has happened with.. I mean sure, with reference to my shady past, this has happened with a dozen women as well.. But the only difference is that I feel something with Sadhvi that didn't happen anywhere else. That instant feeling of bonding and trust and understanding....

I guess this also shows how... extremely desperate I am to enter into a relationship with .. bloody any girl I find who is good-looking enough and has brains (and a sense of humor !).. =(

*Sigh*

Five things I AM looking forward to this year are-

1) FINALLY meeting Moolie :)

2) FINALLY meeting Bhattach :) (if her plans go allrite with her Dad though.. let's see..)

3) Possibly a new hatchback for meh !!! :D Still haven't decided which though..

4) Going back to Chandigarh and enjoying the relaxing lifestyle :)

5) Possibly going to a company for some summer training.. This one will be off the hook, i.e, not the legal one which we're supposed to do. That I have to do in Sem 4.. But, we'll see if it's possible.

I'm hoping that I get at least 3 of these.

They are in order of preference..

Anyway, I'm off to some more studying/revising for the 2 easy exams left :)

Probably head over to my second home, i.e, Bunker, with Bharat for a few days and then.... IDK...

Loneliness =|

CYAA ! :)